Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Klaatu Barada Necktie Mother Frakkers

Klaatu Barada Necktie Mother Frakkers


Official Announcement Regarding Kindle All-Stars 
Project Title: FanaticFiction
Please Repost on All Available Social Media Channels

The Kindle All-Stars never sleep.  Never tire.  Never waver.  Were literary freedom fighters hunting through the jungles for new ways of destroying the system.  Well, weve got one.  And youre all invited to participate. 
From the very beginning, the KAS has been about bolstering the ranks of independent authors.  Well, Id suggest the independent author movement has some roots in a dark little corner of literature that we dont talk about.  Fan Fiction.  
If the harsh machine of the publishing industry hadnt been so closed off, how many thousands of legitimate genre stories would have had a chance at existence?  Who among us has ever had a chance of seeing their Predator story idea be taken seriously?  I say, weve neglected our cousins, independent authors.  Weve left them in the cold while weve prospered, but no more.  
El Presidente is reaching across the borders of our two lands to say, "We are one people.  Bring us your Batman and your Star Wars and your Doctor Who stories.  Bring us your Buffy the Vampire Slayer fiction!" 
Ladies and Gentlemen, the new KAS project will be the biggest Fan Fiction book ever created.  It will feature professional cover art, editing, and formatting.  It will be available for all eReader formats, including Kindle, Nook, iPad, and more.  
And it will be free.  
Let me say that again, it will be COMPLETELY FREE. Were going to give it away on forums, websites, blogs, torrents, and anywhere else it can be obtained.  
So, to the reading masses starving for worthy stories about their most beloved characters, we say, "We have heard your pleas, and help is soon to arrive.  Dark Knights and Federation Starships are enroute to your location as we speak." 
And to my old friends, the publishing industry.  The gatekeepers.  The border patrol.  The oh-so high and mighty elitists.  I say this: Klaatu Barada Necktie, Mother Frakkers.   

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

1. Entries must be submitted to KindleAllStars@gmail.com between July 1st, 2013 and August 1st, 2013.  Do not send them earlier than that, or we might miss them.  
2. Send ONLY finished, edited, proofread manuscripts that are publication ready.  
3. Do not send queries.  Do not send ideas.  We do not give "permission" to write a story. If thats what you want to write, then do so and put your best into it.  We will not answer or comment on queries and you will be removed from the running.  No exceptions.       
4. All stories must be double-spaced 12 point Times New Roman on Microsoft Word.  
5. All stories must be fan fiction of a familiar and established canon.  What we are looking for is the BEST Batman/Star Trek/ Star Wars/Video Game Character, etc stories out there that would not have a chance to exist anywhere else.  
Absolutely no slash fiction, pornography, or childish BS.  Dont waste our time, or we will destroy you. 
6. Use the subject heading FANATICFICTION in your emails so they are easily identifiable.
7. Original stories only, written by the submitting author.
8. If you are in need of editing services for your story, email Laurie Laliberte at KindleAllStars@Gmail.com and beg her to take you on as a client.  To get an idea of what youre in for, read this.
9. By submitting your story you agree to allow it to be published, for free, without any remuneration.  This is a work of love for passionate fans of the genres only.
10. Theres no word limit, other than the length of the story must be justified by its awesomeness.
11. None of these rules are negotiable.

PLEASE help spread the word by reposting this on any forums, social media, or other communities you are a member of.  You can contact me directly on Twitter @ApiarySociety if you have any questions. 

Copy and paste the following tweets to let others know.  Remember, theres plenty of room for good stories in this book so the more quality we bring to it, the better off the project will be.

Burning to tell the greatest #Batman story of all time? Heres how:goo.gl/tXCdv #Retweet
Attention #Starfleet Officers!  Were looking 4 a few good #StarTrek authors. goo.gl/tXCdv  #Retweet
Were looking for #StarWars stories, young Jedi. goo.gl/tXCdv  #Retweet
The biggest, boldest, greatest #Fanfiction book of all time. Do u want to be a part of it? goo.gl/tXCdv  #Retweet
#Browncoats UNITE. Were taking #Firefly fanfiction to a WHOLE OTHER LEVEL. goo.gl/tXCdv  #Retweet
#Buffy the Vampire fanfiction authors, have we got news for you. goo.gl/tXCdv  #Retweet

Now lets get to work.  This project is going to be huge.  
I remain, as always, faithfully yours, 
El Presidente 
Bernard Schaffer

Available link for download